Dragging myself back up on the wagon

So I had five days of reckless abandon: lots of fast food and sugary foods. I went to see an old high school friend over the weekend and I should have prepared mentally and kept track of how much I was spending on food. The trip from Boulder to Canon City and back cost me nearly 50 dollars in gas and another 50-some dollars in food purchases, most of it unnecessary. I wanted something to drink in Castlerock so I stopped at Jack-in-the-Box and got not only a diet coke (when I'm trying to give up aspartame) but also got a disgusting slimy sandwich. It sounded so good: grilled cheese, bacon and turkey on sourdough. Only the bread was ok. There was so much orange sauce and rubbery, slimy slices of turkey. The bacon didn't taste like bacon. It was so gross I actually threw half away. Then in Colorado Springs I got cheesy tots at Burger King. I thought they would be tater tots with cheese filling but they felt/tasted like fried cottage cheese balls. Oh and more diet coke--a giant cup of it. I like to chew the ice.

At my friend's house I had salad with ranch dressing (sugar!), spaghetti (wheat!), with garlic bread (more wheat!) but damn, that garlic bread was good--so soft and salty and fragrant. Damnit! now I want garlic bread!!! I had, without guilt, three glasses of red wine, but also chocolate cake with frosting. The next morning, although I decided to be abstinent, I still had sweet creamer in my coffee--even though I had my stevia drops somewhere in my bag. Then as I left Canon City, I came upon a little place called the Gooseberry Patch. You know the food's going to be good there, with chicken-fried steak and homemade pie. I had fried everything with potatoes and gravy and cheesy hashbrowns and finally for dessert: coconut cream pie. I felt a bit sick--I hadnt' been hungry when I stopped because I had eaten eggs and bacon for breakfast not even three hours before that. But I rationalized the pie by saying good homemade pie is quite rare and I needed to profit from finding it.

But yesterday and today (so far) I have been sugar free. Unfortunately, also am drinking lots of water with flavor drops with sucralose (Splenda) and acesulfame potassium (something bad) and sucrose acetate isobutryate (wow sounds really bad) among other cancer causing ingredients in them.

I was proud of myself last night for making a flour free casserole that will last me a couple of days. Ground beef, flour-free cream of mushroom and cream of chicken soups, 2 med zucchini, 3/4 of a bell pepper, frozen peas and thin slices of polenta to cover the top. I could have put in twice as many veggies, but I hadn't anticipated how much they would shrink up.