Exercise

I started working out at a macho gym where they teach boxing. The workouts are a mix of stuff--pushups, pullups, ab work, lunges, squats, jump rope, weights, etc. I hate it mostly but all I care about is that I can afford it, I can go just before or after work, and someone is there no only holding me accountable, but also encouraging me. They keep telling me that I will lose weight because 1) my metabolism will improve and 2) I feel so good about getting fit that I'll eventually stop putting bad stuff in my mouth. All I can say about that is "I'm really glad I drive by the donut shop 10 seconds after I leave the gyme and not right before I get to work--driving past without stopping is easier since each time I pass, I have just finished a work out. But I still struggle constantly with sugar cravings and give in almost every day. Last night I ate a huge bowl of chicken enchiladas and then had to have something sweet--so I grabbed a huge handful of mini marshmallows. What is it with the marshmallows? I don't love them. I guess it's the squishiness. I love how they are like little sugary pillows. Like combining candy and sleeping. Sleepytime candy. On the nights when I manage to forgo the sugar I'm still drinking a couple of glasses of red wine. But that at least I can justify by saying it's good for my heart. Supposedly. Just read something the other day that said you'd need to drink a BOTTLE of red wine to get the benefits that nutritionists talk about.

Right this very minute I could have a gross coffee from the vending machine, tea, or a Zevia (stevia pop) but all I can think about is vending machine candy bars. Milky Way in particular.

I'm depressed because my cat has disappeared and I'm pretty sure she's not coming back based on the fact that she has never left my side for more than 8 hours. I miss her sweet meows and the way she would touch my face with her paw when she wanted food or for me to open the door. It was the cutest thing. Mostly I just miss her company. The fact that she was always there when I got home and always let me give her a big hug.