Some days I do well during the day, but then in the evening, I feel that I MUST have a dessert of some kind. Last night I ate fairly healthily all day but for dinner I had a burger, fries (ketchup is loaded w/ sugar), and a diet soda. Then when I got home I had cough drops (with sugar), a bowl of my roommates Honey Nut Cheerios, and some of her kids' candy: a toosie roll and a small candy bar. I wanted badly to go to the store and buy cookies or chocolate pudding but the fact that I was already in bed and it seemed too compulsive to drive to the store for that. Plus I kept thinking about how much money I basically waste on sweets, since they have nothing to do with feeding myself. At least French fries I can fool myself into thinking it's ok to eat them because they are food with nutrients.
I am feeling rebellious about going to OA (AA meetings). People at the meetings tell you you can't do it on your own. That you must go to meetings, call your sponsor, call your friends, etc. But I'm depressed. And lazy. I don't WANNA. I am definitely a toddler when it comes to going to meetings. I stamped my feet and fling myself on the bed and say NO.
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